Chanel Contos Debunks Dating Myths, Promoting Open Conversations On Consent And Respectful Relationships Via Tinder Updates.
Dating has always been challenging, but in recent decades, it seems like an increasing number of 'rules' have complicated the process. Relationship expert Chanel Contos is working to debunk some of these myths and make dating simpler.
In today's dating landscape, rules like not replying too soon, waiting until the third date for sex, and being careful with words can make dating feel like navigating a minefield. Contos, however, is advocating for more straightforward and open communication.
As Tinder prepares to launch eight new terms in its online Dating Dictionary, Contos emphasizes the importance of discussions around gender norms, healthy sexual relationships, and social norms. One myth that Contos highlights is the awkwardness associated with talking about consent.
According to Contos, discussing consent is crucial for ensuring everyone involved in the relationship feels comfortable. She argues that the myth of awkward consent conversations needs to be broken. "We need to break the myth that talking about consent is awkward. I think that’s a big barrier in encouraging these conversations," she told the New York Post.
Contos believes that talking about consent can actually be comforting. "I don’t think people realize how comforting it is to be messaging someone on Tinder and have them check in with you," she explained. She also noted that conversations about consent don’t have to be rigid or awkward. When discussing consensual and respectful relationships, such conversations should feel normal and natural.
Beyond consent, Contos, who founded the online platform Teach Us Consent, stresses the importance of understanding certain terms when dating. These terms, including coercive control, sexual act/activity, sexual harm, sexual violence, and victim-survivor, are being added to Tinder’s dictionary.
“It’s significant because these are all words that we instinctively understand but without the actual language to pinpoint them, it’s very hard to talk about them, or engage in the conversations in a respectful way,” Contos said.
Contos is also keen to change how people handle rejection in dating. She suggests reframing rejection as part of understanding each other’s comfort levels and developing new connections. “If someone doesn’t take an extra step forward with you, whether it’s that they’re not ready to meet with you in real life or kiss on the first date – whatever it is – that doesn’t mean that’s game over,” she said.
Ultimately, Contos’ advice is aimed at fostering healthier, more open, and respectful dating experiences by breaking down myths and encouraging clear communication.